Poetry
Pak me bij de hand.
Wanneer ik verdwaal in mijn gedachtenland.
Wanneer ik overmeesterd word door de ruis.
Breng me terug naar huis.
Essentie
When youth fades
Light to shades
And wisdom I can read from your face
Is when the juvenile’s pretty
Evolves into a beauty
Only our ancestors really knew in their days.
Afraid you are
For the depth you carry
Those cracks that run deep
Bottoms filled, bodies to bury
And it feels like drowning
Being swallowed to the bone
Nothing to grab onto
No land, No stone
Surrender is all you can
In a vortex like this
Letting go and trust
in all that is
Ánd all that comes up
Perfectly tucked away
Year after year
Great hope they left, when stayed
Still there to be seen
Listened to and felt
Scary is not what they are
When being carefully held
With softness the dusk
Can change into dawn
Start floating in darkness
Wild water’ll be gone.
No bodies to burry
only pieces to hold in the light
And that’s when you’ll see
Depths are never to fright.
Ancestors
Depths
Is it fair?
That I feel so intense and deep?
Others easily fall asleep?
But me so caring, my mind can't bear.
So nights of sleep are truly rare?
Caring
With my face in the sun, listening to all the different sounds and melodies of the birds, blurring into one. I’m thinking about life and dead. Because while we think we know it all. It’s those two things that are the only certainties we have. I know right now, I live. Right now, I’m alive. Breathing is this beautiful living vessel, we call a body -we take for granted every single day- and I know one day, I just won’t. Everything else is my perception, my reality, my perception of reality. I Think I know life, I think I know right and wrong, I think I know the way to be, handle, work. I think I understand this ‘being human’ thing. But to be fair, I don’t. The only thing I know, -and we all- know for sure, is that one day we die. After we’ve been giving this precious time, to spend in this vessel we got, free to use to experience this weirdly human life with all it’s turns, twists, tears, love, going low and high. So the only thing I ever want, before that happens, before the bird comes out the clock, singing, it’s time to say goodbye.. I truly experienced this life given. To its fullest. every moment, on this wonderful planet, mindful, aware, present. Knowing that when my eyes stay closed, I truly lived. Because wow, this experience is such a gift.
To it's fullest
I saw you today
With her
And my heart skipped
My tummy ache
For her touching your back like I should
So I turned away
Forced a smile
Pretending like I could
And like I don’t care about you like this
For you don’t choose
Me
To be the one to kiss.
To kiss
It’s 3 am and while I’m wide awake and wish to sleep. My mind creates these living dreams about you and me. It not only repeats memories. The way your firm but gentle hands touched my back so soft but certain. Our lips finding their way to each other. The wavering of my breath and the sound of yours. Our naked skin so close, I can’t feel where I end and you begin. The smell of you, that smells like home so free, that I carry now on me. And our eyes finding each other now and then, making me wonder, is this the man? It’s 3 am and my mind likes to play. With perfect music, roses, memories and dreams with magical sun rays. Moments that could be. Happening for you and me. Words that may be said in conversations we have while walking on the beach. Or with a coffee at breakfast or diner for two. My brain loves how you suddenly tell me: I love you. And how our lives turn out. You loving me oh so loud. And these firm but gentle hands being mine now. Up to the moment you speak your vow. To wake up even when I’m wide awake. To realize, this isn’t true, it’s a fake. It’s just my mind, spinning in the middle of the night. Dancing with every memory, my desires and hope, creating a story I can tell myself, to cope. Knowing these dreams for this hopeless romantic is not more than a desire but a lie. Yet is something I would for die.